“Trust yourself—you know more than you think you do.” — Benjamin Spock
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Hi Dear Friends,
I hope you're doing well and excellent!
Did you start your first day on a job wondering how you can survive in this environment of people who you thought were more brilliant than you? Did you receive your long-awaited promotion and decide on your own that there are more qualified candidates? Or having worked so hard to earn an award or scholarship, did you feel like it wasn't a big deal, or was it was just plain luck? Or have you had a hard time receiving compliments from people about your accomplishments?
Have you ever walked into your bible study group and thought to yourself, "how do I fit in with people who have read the bible five times?" Or does your testimony seem inconsequential compared to that of others? Or did you feel like others were way up on Jesus' fav list, and you couldn't measure up?
Ok, let's get sensitive! Do you feel out of your skin when someone tells you they are in love with you? Or have you felt that your partner thinks too highly of you, and who you really are would be discovered soon? Or does it just not feel all right or perfect enough for you to be in a relationship?
Fact-Check
The Harvard Business Review describes this feeling as "a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success." Well, before we connect this with low self-esteem or low self-confidence, a clinical research paper published in the Journal of Behavioral Science shows that almost 70% of people have felt like an impostor at one point in their life or the other. And guess what? It mostly begins when you have a new opportunity or accomplishment. Therefore, high-achievers, perfectionists, and highly successful people are more prone to impostor syndrome (Clance and Imes, 1978).
Where does it come from?
Innocent childhood labels such as 'smart', 'pretty', 'expressive', etc., often place us in a box and when we don't meet up with these labels for one day, we feel fear or pressured to stay in the box, we feel like a scam.
When you walk into a room, and no one matches your group or culture, where you couldn't find a 'someone who looks like me', you may feel out of place, and fear you would be discovered.
Fight Back
Thoughts
Do you ever wonder where most problems originate? Right from the mind! Our thoughts are one of our most prized possessions. The devil is continually fighting against the sanity of the children of God. Anything that would go against Romans 12:2 is his top priority, to disarm you and bruise your confidence. 2 Corinthians 10:5 calls us to bring every rebellious thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. That is, recognize this feeling of being an impostor and fight back!
“Satan will aggressively fight against the renewal of your mind, but it is vital that you press on and continue to pray and study in this area until you gain measurable victory.” ― Joyce Meyer
Remind yourself of how far you have come, of all the things you have achieved. Remind yourself of who you are in Christ! You are empowered as a child of God to do great things, and in your times of inadequacy, remember that He has done it all (2 Corinthians 5:18), ALL, not some! Your sufficiency and qualifications come from Christ ( 2 Corinthians 3:5). So when those thoughts sip in, think back to when you solved a problem for your employer or in your business, that goal you achieved (no matter how small or big), that test you excelled in, that award you earned. Realize that it is ok not to know everything, perhaps, we're all still learning anyway!
“A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones. Proverbs 14:30”
Then, visualize! Set out your vision board, so it scares the evil one, picture yourself in the purpose, people, and place (remember?!) you want to be!
So when next you step into a room or a situation and those strange thoughts come, let your mind know Who is in charge (Ezekial 36:26-27), recall all the goodies God has helped you achieve, and believe that God will take you to where He wants you to be!
Talk
Once you are aware of this feeling, it will be easy to talk about it and deal with it. Tell it to Jesus (Hebrews 4:15). Plug into your support system (1 Thessalonians 4:18). You could express your feelings to a trusted friend. We have taken up a version of Christianity where you feel guilty about seeking help from others or even speaking up about some issues. You don't have to do everything or feel everything alone. Reach out to someone (1 Thessalonians 5:11): a mentor, your spouse, a senior colleague. We all need support!
Take Action
Since you're the one person who can transform your life, you have to make a personal decision to turn the tide. A classic one for me is, celebrating your wins. Trust me! Those little victories keep your heart light! Cheers to them all, whether big or small.
By doing this, you are sending a clear message to yourself that you are in love with, and are kind to yourself.
But what do we with our losses? We turn them into lessons. Don't compare your one year experience with a colleague's ten years experience.
“When you see yourself as a work-in-progress, you’re automatically less likely to experience feelings of inadequacy.” ― Valerie Young
Realize that you are or will be someone's superhero. So roll your shoulders back, lift your chin a few inches higher, dress a notch higher than the room you're walking into, smile, and step into that room, or situation like you belong there! Remember, we have been impostors at some point!
Will it all go away?
Not really! You will feel new to something once in a while.
It is ok to be a novice because we all started somewhere.
So when you feel like other Christians are ahead in their bible plans and prayer lives, and you have to live up to their perfection, remember Jesus has taken all your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Just as we discussed last week (Read here), we can only be perfect in Christ, and by letting God be our example (2 Corinthians 11:1), only then can we feel peace (Isaiah 26:3) in our present and future endeavors!
Thrive
I pray as we step into new opportunities, physically and spiritually, that we find peace and believe in His plan for where we are and where He is taking us. I pray we encounter real courage as God places us in new situations, that we love, care for, and excel in being ourselves.
I pray we have the humility to learn from others and our mistakes and submit our inadequacies to God. I pray we win the war in our minds and think about greatness all the way!
Love & Peace,
The Lady Nudge.
'You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You—in both inclination and character], Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation]. '
Isaiah 26:3
Recommended Read:
Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind by Joyce Meyer.
The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It by Valerie Young.
#trust #imposter #2020 #faith #christianlifestyle
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Sources: Harvard Business Review, Longman Dictionary, Psychology Today, nbcnews.com,unlockingthebible.org
Author's Disclaimer: All content of this blog is for informational and inspirational purposes only, and represents the opinions, experiences, and research made by the author.
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