"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for. Perfection is God’s business." ― Micheal J. Fox
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Perfection /pər-ˈfek-shən/
noun
the state of being perfect, without fault or defect
Hi Friends,
I hope you are excelling in life, at God's pace!
Today, we discuss one of the many foxes that might have dwelt too long in our vineyards (Song of Solomon 2:15) - perfection. Commonly, we have found 'sugar-coated' names to cover this up: expecting the best from one's self, having too high standards from ourselves and others, assuming one has no flaws, wanting to liked by everyone, and so on.
Well, are you the kind of person who wants all your nail polish bottles in a straight line, or never has a strand of hair out of place, or color codes your entire closet, or can't stand it when a shoe is out of place or gets mad when things don't go according to your well-detailed plans?
Do you panic when you don't say the right things, or do you have anxiety when people don't accept you or people say things behind your back? Do you set standards for yourself so high even Einstein is wondering how he could ever measure up, or do you set high expectations for the people you love?
“Healthy striving is self-focused: "How can I improve?" Perfectionism is other-focused: "What will they think?” ― Brené Brown
What about this? Does starting anything, like anything at all, scare you? Have you already critically overanalyzed the 'what if I fail?', 'what if it doesn't work?', 'what if they don't like it?'
At some point, we may have sat on the throne of perfection in one area of our life or the other; it could be relationships, or career, or aiming for self-perfection, among others. Whether it's overworking until that one project is perfectly done or training your child to outdo his/her peers or being critical or trying to control everything. For some, it might have even become a way of life while others might have noticed the symptoms and began working on it. These are habits and thoughts we have held on to for so long.
In the bid to be flawless, striving for perfection feeds our insecurities, fear, feelings of wanting to be in control, negativity, feelings of insufficiency, and criticisms, tendencies to please people (Colossians 1:21).
"Perfection, fortunately, is not the only alternative to mediocrity. A more sensible alternative is excellence. Striving for excellence is stimulating and rewarding; striving for perfection—in practically anything—is both neurotic and futile." ― Edwin C. Bliss
As a recovering perfectionist, I know it holds you back from a lot of things, happy things. There is nothing wrong with expecting the best from ourselves or others. But we've sometimes walked the thin line between perfection and excellence. There are things we expect from ourselves which threaten God's position in our lives. God is God, and man is man. Nothing can change this!
How do we get on the other side of perfection, which is excellence? Here are some tips;
What does God say about you?
Reminding ourselves of who God says we are, clears every doubt or second-guessing because He has called us royalty and chosen us to show forth His excellence (1 Peter 2:9). The word of God is really light and life (Psalm 18:30). By seeking the face of God and dwelling in His word (2 Timothy 3:16), He gives us insight into who He has called us to be (1 John 3:2). We are His, to be perfect as He is perfect (Matthew 5:48). So any form of perfection outside Jesus gives more trouble.
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. ― Ephesians 2:10
God has declared us free in Christ (Galatians 5:1) and we are truly free indeed (John 8:36) to attain perfection in Him alone. Paul says we have not attained perfection yet, but we get there as we reach out for Christ, we have access to His perfection (Phillippians 3:12). Living in God's expectation of perfection for us drives out all fear (1 John 4:18), helps us to stop being critical (Galatians 2:20), takes away our negativity (Psalm 139:14).
Whenever you find yourself going into overdrive, or burdened with self-perfection, remember God has all the grace you need, and it is made perfect in your weakness (1 Corinthians 12:9). It's ok to be flawed while walking towards God's perfection, which is only possible by following Him (Matthew 19:21). You will begin to experience excellence all-round (Phillippians 4:13, 1 Peter 2:9), and we can confidently settle into the passenger seat and enjoy the ride.
What do you say/think about you?
As we dwell daily in what God says about us, it transforms our minds (Romans 12:2, Phillippians 4:8) and our thoughts about ourselves (Isaiah 55:8-9). We realize He has made us His own (Philippians 3:12), given us the grace to achieve spiritual perfection by transforming our thoughts (Philippians 3:15). This changes how we speak to ourselves.
"'You are enough.' 'You are putting in your best today, and it will be enough.'
'God has provided all you need to succeed (Psalm 23:1), and you are taking advantage of it.'
'You carry the excellent Spirit of God, and it makes you wise (Psalm 19:7).' You are right where God wants you to be, and you have the wisdom to move into your next level.' "
― The Lady Nudge Mantras
Because we can rid ourselves of overthinking, criticisms, and every lie of the devil by believing what God says about us, we speak affirmatively to ourselves in Christ (Proverbs 18:4). Armed with this new knowledge of who God says we are, we can then practice overcoming our fears, feelings of negativity, over-expectations.
We can chase our dreams with a confident assurance that God will pull us through (Hebrews 11:1). We can let ourselves be flawed, and not have to walk in high heels and full-face makeup while at home all day (you know, like in those Nollywood movies).
"The thing about perfection is it's unknowable. It's impossible. But it's always right in front of you." ― Kevin Flynn
You have to believe in yourself, like, love, and be kind to yourself. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND! This will make it easy for you to accept and appreciate your differences. Celebrate little victories, enjoy your imperfections! Since you are what you think, you can believe who God says you and live life as a shining star!
What do you say about others?
Once we recognize who we are in Christ, this motivates us to see the same Jesus in others. Our security in Christ is sure, so it becomes easy to say kind words to your child when he/she spills a drink, or you could choose not to nag your husband when he forgets to replace the toilet paper. Why? Because we have embraced our flawed nature and can now speak life and let God's grace flow through us to others (Mark 21:31).
"To demand perfection is a sure way to be disappointed in everybody, for you will be bound to think ill of others." ― Monica Fairview
Remember, we are all doing our best to be the best version of ourselves. Christ has taken us all in, with all our flaws (Romans 15:7), and we can do the same.
Extra Tips
Excellent resources like Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer could help build a godly mindset (Psalm 4:23). Other unconventional steps include having an accountability partner - someone you can talk to, and who can hold accountable. Also, set out time to achieve projects, and once your time is up, take a break or do something else. Sometimes I set a timer when framing an email, so I don't spend two hours trying to send a two-sentence email. Freeing yourself from perfection also requires discipline (Hebrews 12:11). James 1:5-7 says we can boldly ask God for wisdom and He will give us generously. Hebrews 4:16 tells us we can confidently approach the throne of grace, where we can obtain grace and mercy at our time of need.
Prayer
It is my prayer that we see perfection as more of letting go than taking control. I pray we excel in God's promises for us, that we decide to be compassionate to and celebrate ourselves, that we step into a new level of kindness to ourselves, and be vessels of grace to others. I pray that as we chase God's kind of perfection, our excellence will shine through our imperfections.
Love & Peace,
The Lady Nudge.
'Herein is love made perfect with us, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as he is, even so are we in this world. There is no fear in love: but perfect love casteth out fear, because fear hath punishment; and he that feareth is not made perfect in love. '
1 John 4:17-18 ASV
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Source: merriam-webster.com
Author's Disclaimer: All content of this blog is for informational and inspirational purposes only, and represents the opinions, experiences, and research made by the author.
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